Ever tried swapping identities to manage stress?

In coming back from a short but enjoyable break over the Christmas and New year period I was commenting days ago how free I feel in my overall demeanour. I then pondered how many other people out there in the big wide world feel the same way? It also made me realise it isn't a feeling that someone can just switch on by saying a few positive affirmations in front of the mirror and then it happens.

Stress management is obviously a vital key to mental and emotional health and freedom. A recent aha moment had me realising that incorporating this newly understood stress management technique into my mindset would dramatically improve the way I relate with others. You and I both need to start understanding others before we even contemplate trying to get what we want or getting angry because we have been restricted in our actions by someone else. Examples of this are getting stuck behind a car at a green light momentarily, not getting to go to a shop because your significant other hasn't arrived home on time to take care of the kids and so on. The list is endless. But to try and understand why they may be late or why they haven't responded to the green light will instantly stop you getting angry (an emotional health vampire) and immediately save you a potential stressful period. It also has the potential to stop you speaking and acting angrily to others who have had no involvement or control over your unfortunate situation.

So to incorporate this new mentality into your life try these 3 steps when you feel the urge to yell, scream, swear or even get verbally and maybe even physically violent. Mind you if you get to the almost physically violent stage the last thing on your mind will be these 3 steps!!! Here they are:

1. Become aware: Develop your self awareness and listen to the tell tale signs in your own mind that warn you the angry emotion is starting to surface. This will allow you to identify the stimulus of the stress and then make a conscious decision to manage the way you perceive the problem
2. Swap positions: Put yourself into their shoes and try to understand what could be going on in their world at this time that would cause them to do something that upsets you in this way. They could have lost their keys, hurt themselves, been stuck in traffic, had to attend to an emergency or had a situation that needed their full attention right then and there. Absolutely anything could of happened so give them the benefit of the doubt and move on.
3. Empathise: Whatever their reason for the bad situation you and them were involved in endeavour to understand their views and the position they were in. Forgive them in your mind even if it means you forgiving them for being so unreliable and they are doomed for a life of unreliability. This may mean you never rely on them again or if they are important to you; giving them honest, constructive feedback may be all they need. Then they can start understanding you and not just thinking of themselves.

This will take effort and persistence so stick with it. Taking this disciplined approach will improve your emotional health massively. Improving your physical energy will help to as this will fuel the emotional energy needed to help you here.