What a Waste of Energy

Holidays, travel, adventure, I love them all and even getting up at two in the morning didn't bother me to get to the airport in time. I'm off to America for three weeks to stay in San Diego - California with my sister in law. But it's not all about me, in fact I am here to tell you about a situation I witnessed at the airport that was so petty and avoidable yet it consumed 7 people directly and others indirectly and started a day off horribly wrong for those involved.

Whilst lining up to check baggage in a mother and daughter were patiently waiting in front of a mother and son. All was quiet as you would expect until another young girl rushed up to the mother and daughter combo to embrace and get ready for their voyage together. Then the issue arose whereby the father (not in line) of the mother and son combo waiting behind the girls rushed up to confront and take the lady to task for pushing in. Well as you can imagine emotions were out of control and all were left scowling, shaking heads and in general emotionally disrupted. What was worst the father then walked off to leave all involved to feel very uncomfortable with each other.

What's my point? I'm big on living your life according to principles and guidelines and one very important one to me is 'first things first'. Well this was first thing in the morning and if this was the way they all kicked off their day and no one was prepared to see the others point of view, admit wrong doing, apologise or even agree to disagree, the rest of the day for each and everyone involved would of been filled with resentment and anger which may well eventuate in angry or resentful actions at some stage. Outcome being a wasted day and by constantly repeating this pattern of emotional unconsciousness lives will be marred by blaming others, resentment, revenge and the notion that the world revolves around them and their situation.

To avert the problem I feel they would of been better off

1. Understanding each others point of view before putting their own case forward.
2. Look for a win/win solution rather than just a win for themselves.
3. Then apologise or at least move on and forget about the issue as no more could be done. If nothing else forgive the other and feel sorry for them for being so arrogant and ignorant to others and their situations.
   

If conflict is a constant in your life please think about this. Your thoughts control your actions and until you control your thoughts you will never control your actions.

Are you digging deep enough?

Waking up today I was a little hazier that usual and then reality hit me. My family has deserted me or I have deserted them maybe more to the point. As I write, Adriana (wife), Sabina, Tyrone and Daniella (kids) are all on board a Qantas flight to Los Angeles and will be ushered down to San Diego to spend a month with Adriana's sister's family. I decided to stay a week longer at home to get some business dealings all sorted and then I will meet them there in a weeks time. Now that I've explained myself I'll get to the point. My greatest and deepest core value is my family and I already miss them but there is an upside; as we must always find in times of adversity.

I have some deadlines that others want me to meet for my own business interests and I can now devote the next week to solely satisfying my business/hobby needs and the other parties. If the family was here with me now I wouldn't be dedicating the time required to meet the deadlines others are requiring of me. Notice I didn't say couldn't. Because I work for myself this may seem strange but I have committed to an agreement that requires me to produce a product that someone else will sell for me!!!

The point being I was prepared to miss their required deadline because I was satisfying my family values and in turn keeping my passion for life as high as a kite. At the end of the day if I wasn't happy with my life (by not satisfying my deepest and dearest values) my output will be substandard, my relationship with my family substandard and my drive and purpose would lose its sting pretty quickly. Opportunities to make money will always be there but you and your values may not be so make the most of them.

What's my point? Are you aware of your deepest inner core values and if you are; are you satisfying them on a daily or weekly basis? If the answer is no to any of the questions above you are probably not as satisfied and as passionate about your life as you could be. You do have a choice and it's about time you started making the right ones for you - not for others or to satisfy others needs. Ask yourself theses 3 questions to start digging deep to find your own deepest core values.

1. If you were guaranteed success in anything you did what would you like to be doing right now in your life - and what emotions does the thought of you living this life stir up for you?
2. Do you hop into bed at the end of each day knowing your actions during the day have scratched the itch your values create and do you wake up in the morning looking forward to attacking your day passionately driving your satisfaction levels for living to an all time high.
3. What would you like said about you when you retire or as we all will; move to another life -what would you like to be remembered for most in your life?

Answering these questions is not a 5 minute exercise but if you are serious about living a life with passion and fulfilment I suggest you ask them and take the time to record your answers. It will start you on the way to getting your own personal mission statement. Answer the questions in order otherwise the exercise will not be as effective. Leave a comment so I can see how you went.

Have you ever heard of mood proofing yourself?

Wow I have just finished listening to an unbelievable interview via a podcast I subscribe to and boy was it good. So good I want to share the message I took out of it. Basically my take on it is, no matter where you are in life; at the top of the success ladder, the bottom or somewhere in between, the same battles and challenges are still going to appear. The interview in question was between a mentor of mine Scott and a pracademic (practical academic) William Sukala who is just about to complete his PHD. His studies and research involve special at risk populations and empowering them to use exercise to counter and stop these conditions.

But the two big factors I took out of the interview to share with you is to do with your mindset and how your actions are ruled by it. Anyone involved in our wellness coaching program will know the importance I place on our mindset and William reinforces this. He has consciously mood proofed himself which simply put, means he is totally aware of his mind when things get tough. And in these tough times he makes sure his processes are right and reassures himself he is on the right path and to keep persisting. He also has Emergency Standing Orders (ESO) which he follows when his outlook and positivity is tested. Again his process is checking his personal mission statement (PMS) and making sure the path he is taking, when the struggle mentally begins, is in line with his PMS. Combining these ritualised tools in his armoury safe guard him against anxiety and worry. To quote him, "the future isn't here yet so why worry about that and the past has gone, so there's nothing you can do about that now".

I took so much out of this interview and I hope my message gets through to you in the same way. But to assist you to mood proof your mind and start making your own Emergency Standing Orders try following these steps when anxiety and worry starts to toxify your mindset.

1. Stop and listen to the messages you are broadcasting to your subconscious mind
2. Qualify those thoughts and ask yourself are the thoughts which will control my actions helping me achieve my desired outcome in life
3. Make a choice whether you entertain that thought further or disregard it totally and put a consequence to the choice you make
4. Take absolute responsibility for the choice you make and don't deviate from this responsibility. Don't become a victim.

I'll leave you with a famous Einstein quote that William the great repeated. The definition of insanity is seeking a different outcome yet taking the same course of action over and over again. Is that you?

William Sukala's website can be found at http://www.williamsukala.com/